Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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