chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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