ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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