There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
