you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
