awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
