who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
im on a boat
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