oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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