He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my shit smells like andre
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have fence marks all over my body
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
