no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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