the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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