she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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