hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
