My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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