is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
