Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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