i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
