Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize