so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
