You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
