So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
