I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize