I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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