im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
