every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
