Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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