I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
