I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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