We're like a lot better than the average bears
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
