Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
