you win again, gameday.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
