well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
