you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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