No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
