The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
