If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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