Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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