she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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