He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot