At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.