there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.