do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?