Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
