just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
