I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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