Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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