the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
