I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
