literally had 100 drinks last night.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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