omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
zippers are such a cool invention
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
