Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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