She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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