I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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