my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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