yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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