i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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