I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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