carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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