Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
