in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
