Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
