dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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