Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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