We're facebook friends in real life
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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