Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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