there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
