The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize